22
Sep
07

Suhaag Raat

I was listening to good old hindi songs on my comp. Suddenly one song reminded me of one funny anecdote told by my friend. Song was “Kabhie Kabhie” and when it hit “suhaag raat hai ghunghat utha raha hoon main” it turned my mind on. My friend used to blog quite a lot couple of years back. And he had written review on movie called “Suhaag Raat” which is Jeetendra starrer released in 1968. Since he is ardent bollywood fan his post had nothing to do with notorious demons of actual “suhaag raat” but from that day this post got most number of hits up until last day of blogging. I felt perplexed (even today) why is “Suhaag Raat” like ancient arcane quest that everyone is so excited about.

“Suhaag Raat” if as it is translated will mean “Husband’s Night”(once again it proves that Indian society is male dominated) is nothing but first wedding night. In Indian culture purpose of “Suhaag Raat” is to bring prosperity to newly weds life by getting intimate which generally results into children thus taking our race/religion/name/family/culture in next generation. India’s population is more than billion which tells us the significance of this night.

Sex is taboo word for Indians. But our good old bollywood is exempted from all kinds cultural inhibitions (although bitchy Censor tries its best to stop). Even though this night is perceived as night of loosing virginity and intimate accidents in bed, bollywood has portrayed it differently. In typical bollywood way, bride will be sitting alone in bed with her “ghoonghat” (piece of saree covering face) down. Flowers will be suffused all over the bed. Groom will come after having fun with his friends (most probably little drunk). When he is about to close door all his cousins (specially sisters) will tease him. Then he will close the door and lock it from inside. Then he will go towards bride in typical saunter(in similar manner of dog who is given chicken with bone after many days). He will lift the “ghoonghat” and see moonlit face of bride as if he is looking at his bride for the first time. The stage is set, couple is overflowing with all kinds of libidos. Groom is about to undress his bride and then suddenly you will see 2 birds mating on the screen. Now you must be wondering why birds on the screen when their mating procedure is totally different from humans. Either bollywood directors are bad at analogies or they are taking moral high in order to avoid miasma effect on children who watch their movies. Unfortunately both the reasons are untrue and real reason is uncle censor who acts a film nanny in India. Censor tries its best not to give any cultural liberties to bollywood.

Now the question how come this topic is most talked about subject (and most visited in blogs) for young Indians. I will give my example itself. I have been watching bollywood movies for years. Since 8 year old kid, atleast one movie that I watched amongst the many in a year had “Suhaag Raat” scene. And every time it was more or less similar to what I have mentioned. I used to wonder why all of sudden couple used to vanish from screen just to see it being replaced by birds, flowers, bees etc. (yes bollywood directors are extremely creative). I had once asked my elder cousin(who was in mid teens) about all these things. He just laughed at me and told that I will be omniscient once I grow up. And how true he was, after few years I knew more than what bollywood and our own culture could teach us. But this particular phrase brings goosebumps every time I hear it. Hence I can understand the situation of young couples who are about to be married. Torrents of curiosity must be flooding their minds. And obviously there are hundreds of perverts and voyeurs in our society since ours is culturally repressed one. Just one single aperture out of this dark world is enough for mental orgasms of these minds.

Lets do some reality checks about this celestial night. Indian weddings have turned from low key affairs to big fat bandwagons. Weddings generally take minimum 5-6 hours of actual event, excluding scrupulous efforts for getting ready. Couples generally spend 14 hours in wedding on their wedding day. In which you have to perform genuflects infront of all the distant relatives whom you are meeting for the first time. This number goes in hundreds. Then there is big reception time during which you need to stand on stage (not to forget that you are not allowed to miss single gift offered to you) that too always smiling since you are cynosure of everyone present in the hall. Then you have to perform all kinds of archaic rituals which are insignificant in todays world. Even though you loathe these rituals you have no choice since you have to follow your traditions and cultural obligations. You talk with hundreds of guys on that day but you hardly speak with your new life partner since you have whole life ahead for dialogs. If this is not enough then you have to see melodrama of bride when leaving her parents although bride is constantly told by her sisters not to cry since it will ruin her make-up (obviously before night) which costed her lots of grands. Once you are done with all these things then you are thrown into deserted room (which is decorated beautifully) just for loosing virginity. How do you expect anyone to perform at his/her best in this deserted room after so many activities in a day?

One more important factor is type of marriages in Indian society. Most of the marriages are arranged ones even though picture is changing rapidly in urban areas. If its a love marriage then couple is more open with each other in their thoughts and actions. And many times its just continuation for them on very first night. But arranged marriage has to go thru lots of difficulties. Just imagine the condition of a girl who has never been touched by anonymous man (most of the cases). For men its first time they experience the tenderness of a woman which is completely different from virile world they are living in, untill this night.

Yet we find more and more couples interested in this night. It will be foolish if couples are blindly following this tradition which has been for years. Lets remember that Sex is not the only thing in marriage. Its just a small part of bigger picture called “living together”. I believe we should first understand our partner and then proceed to these acts of celibacy in first night. Afterall successful relationships are built on trust and understanding. Once these two pillars are built you have your whole life waiting for this fucking business.

Just to end, I will also tell one more funny anecdote of my friend’s experience. He wanted his first night in very filmy manner and he ordered all the varieties of flowers to spread them on bed. He enjoyed the night in the fragrance of these flowers but very next day he and his wife had to visit dermatologist since flowers had bad effect on their skin much to embarrassment of this couple.

P.S. I’m not married. And I’m too young to consider my marriage seriously in near future.

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22
Sep
07

Poignancy

Poignancy can’t be explained any better than this. This picture is so deeply moving that it will make you think atleast for a moment that we are not the “only” unlucky ones. Lets help the unicef as well as street children support movements.

29
Jul
07

Touch Me, Touch Me Not

Whenever you are sick, somebody simply keeps their hands on your head, you get that feeling of recuperation which those high price drugs can’t give. When you are sad and feeling low some one keeps hand on your shoulder making you feel secured. When two estranged lovers hug, this brings them closer within a moment. When you feel tense someone gives you his/her hand in hand of yours, this relieves you from all the tensions. When you see little baby, you kiss and touch baby’s body which makes you feel much happier. When you achieve something and then someone pats your back, you feel jubilant. Whenever you are in pain some one touches you, you suddenly feel healed. Whenever you are angry someone holds you, you easily get calmed. Even when a couple is getting married first thing priest tells them to hold their hands. Whenever two persons want to get intimate they start by touching each other. Whenever you meet any stranger, you shake the hands thus very first thing you do is touching each other. Everything mentioned above has one thing common which is Touch.

It’s a touch which makes you joyous. It’s a touch that makes you secured. It’s a touch that makes you jubilant. It’s a touch that makes you happy. It’s a touch that makes you satisfied. It’s a touch that makes you exuberant. It’s a touch that brings two people more closely. Even touch comes first in a old saying of “touch, motivate and inspire”.

This is the immense power of touch. Every emotion can be explained and felt by single touch. Every human being has 5 distinct senses which are eyes for looking, ears for hearing, nose for smelling, tongue for tasting and skin for touching. Everything except the touch can be lost in later stages of life but touching sense remains throughout your life. Even people who don’t have other senses communicate through the 5th sense of touch.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

Touch me and let me feel your warmth
Touch me not and you will feel my wrath.

p.s. Its a touch in the slap that makes person aware of reality

22
Jul
07

Twenty Something

Past few days (may be months) I’m feeling bit different. My mind is racing in two contrasting states. I’m having difficulty with myself. One friend of mine mentioned one quote i.e. “The most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, it is when you do not understand yourself”. In my case neither I nor anybody else can understand my mind.

I feel that people are selfish and especially those who I thought were my best friends have turned their backs. I hate to go along with the crowd. I hate to be seen as the just another face in the crowd. I hate those who dominate my life. I hate those who lie to me. I hate those who betray me. But the problem is that I find these kind of folks on every corner of street. They are looking at me like tiger concentrating at his princely prey.

I laugh and cry with the pure sheer. I feel alone, scared and perplexed sometimes. Suddenly, change becomes the new enemy and I try to hold the hand of past but I soon realize that past is past and I have no other options than catching the present and moving forward. One moment I feel extremely secure whereas very next moment I’m insecure.

I love being loved and I would like to love someone whole heartedly. But suddenly I find myself crushed and heart broken. Thats why I love that pretty girl with marble eyes who is always in my thoughts. Every time I wonder lying in my bed whether will I be meeting anyone decent enough that I want to get to know her better. Or maybe I should keep on loving the same marble eyed girl just with slim ray of hope that one day I will meet her.

Many times I feel like a total jerk. Everyday I ask the same questions over and again. I linger upon the same topics. I haven’t made many important decisions since I don’t know whether I’m right or wrong. One moment I feel that how great it would be to emerge as a victorious captain in the routine rat race but very next moment I find my legs trembling just because of the idea of being contender.

I don’t know whether these are the best of the times or worst of the times of my life. I don’t know whether I will be able to sort the whole thing out. I don’t know how many other guys in the same age group as of mine might be having the same feelings. Someone told me that this whole mess has a name i.e. Quarter Life Crisis. Is it really quarter life crisis or am I attaining the maturity? But one thing is sure, this peregrination from adolescence to adulthood is quite painful.

21
Jul
07

I

Power of one letter. I stands for identity. In new world order I stands for internet which opens the gateways of knowledge. And it is homonym for eye too. Aye Aye!!!

07
Feb
07

I dream a dream

Have you ever dreamt? I bet yes you must have dreamt if you belong to human species and made up of flesh and blood. But have you ever dreamt about dream? May be yes, may be no. If yes then it gives me the sense of satisfaction that I’m not alone. If no then let me tell you that I dream of dreams. Confused (phew 😦 )!!! Well I’m not going to present some Freud theories here. For me dreaming means transitory elation from harsh and bitter reality of world we make living. Dreaming frees me to savor the meaning of my life. I always try to push myself to the illusionary world of mine.

In this world I’m not all alone. I sometimes enjoy the company of my shadows. Sometimes I’m walking with spurt of wind. Sometimes I’m running with river currents. Sometimes I gust with storms and twisters. Sometimes I squander with bright sunshine. Sometimes I get impish for naughty night. Sometimes I fly on the morning horizons. Sometimes I lick the nectar from gaudy flowers in the valley. Sometimes I dance with jumping waves. Sometimes I discourse with omnipresent clouds. Sometimes I squabble with twinkle stars. Sometimes I wander with bumblebees. Sometimes I smell the soil giving warnings of facetious rains. Sometimes I soak myself with thumping rains. Sometimes I play hide and seek with my shadows. Sometimes I howl in the rage of fire. Sometimes I laugh at the moon on moonless nights. Sometimes I envy the sunrays for being customary. Sometimes I race with the moon for comeliness. Sometimes I get cheerful in the soothing moonlight. Sometimes I feel like singing with chirping birds. Sometimes I plummet with the waterfalls. And sometimes I do all of these.

But this bloody real world never allows me to stay in this world for eternity. When ever I enter in this world of dreams, real world makes me awake as soon as possible. I try to knock the doors of this illusionary world every time but the real one drags me into itself. Hence I “dream a dream“. However for this phenomenon there is one specific word in English i.e. “daydreamer”. Yes I’m a daydreamer. And I might not be the only one.

28
Dec
06

Here I am!!!

Yes I am back. I was bit busy in other things. But now onwards I will be posting regularly :-).

Cheers!!!!




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